A Elements Behavioral Health Guide to Drug Rehab
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Few things take a greater toll on relationships than addiction. If you are an addict in recovery and you are married, you may be wondering what will happen next. Is your spouse going to leave you? Will she ever trust you again? How will you ever make it up to her? Divorce in the aftermath of addiction is not uncommon, but it is possible to repair your marriage. You can make it up to your wife if you are both willing to do the work. The fact that you sought recovery is a sign that you can work toward repairing all aspects of your life damaged by addiction.

Is Divorce Inevitable After Addiction?

Repairing Your Marriage After RehabDivorce may be common when one partner is addicted, but it does not need to be inevitable. Addiction is one of the biggest challenges your relationship will ever face, but you can bring it back from the brink. To do so, you both need to be on the same page. Have an honest and open discussion with your wife and find out if she is committed to working with you to repair your relationship. She may have doubts, but hopefully the fact that you were willing to ask for professional help will convince her that you are serious about making amends.

How Do You Make Amends To Your Spouse?

Making amends is an important part of the recovery process and no one deserves it more than your partner. Addiction leads people to do hurtful things to the ones they love the most. You may have lied to her, cheated on her or neglected her. You have a lot of making up to do, and although it may seem daunting, it is possible.

Making up for all the hurt and damage does not mean that you have to spend the rest of your life groveling and giving in to your spouse. If that is what she is expecting, you are both headed down the wrong path. Making amends means apologizing and restoring her faith in you. To do so you need to treat her well, make heartfelt apologies and, most importantly, strive to avoid relapsing and sinking back into the hole of addiction.

Can Your Spouse Ever Trust You Again?

One of the biggest impediments to bringing back a healthy relationship is trust. What you damaged the most in your marriage was your wife’s trust. You probably promised over and over again to stop using, to stop lying, to stop cheating, and to be better. These were all promises you were incapable of keeping at the time, but they did damage to trust nonetheless.

The only way to develop trust is to earn it. Unfortunately, earning trust takes much more time than losing it. It takes many repeated instances of being reliable and dependable to earn trust. Make sure your wife understands that her trust will be slow to regain. Keep being the person she needs you to be, and with time, she will trust you again.

Repairing a marriage after the devastation caused by addiction is a difficult challenge, but not an impossible one. Be sure to communicate with each other about what you are feeling; rekindle your love for each other by spending quality time together and consider seeking the help of a professional marriage counselor. Perhaps most importantly, continue to work on your own recovery. The best way to show your spouse that you are committed to rebuilding your relationship is to stay sober and avoid relapse.

Find Out What Are The Ways To Recognize Addiction Denial In A Loved One?

 

You have finally made the decision to get into rehab and get help for your addiction. Your habit has probably wreaked a lot of havoc in your life. You may have chronic health problems, your finances may be in the toilet, you may have lost your job, or you may have gotten into legal trouble. Perhaps the worst casualties of your addiction, however, are your relationships. Addicts often hurt the ones they love while focused solely on the needs dictated by their disease. Now that you’re going into rehab, should you work on those relationships or focus on your recovery alone?

What Are the Most Important Relationships In Rehab?

Repairing Broken Relationships While In RehabAs you enter rehab you will find that there are several relationships to cultivate. You will need to develop a working and trusting relationship with your counselor or therapist. This person will be instrumental in helping you to get better. You do need to work on this relationship, but remember that it is a professional one. If you struggle to trust this person, be honest about it. Your therapist will not take it personally if you want to request to work with someone else.

You will also find that you will develop several relationships with peers while in rehab. These are crucial to your success. No one can go it alone, especially when trying to overcome addiction. Your peers have the unique perspective that you also have. They understand where you have been, where you’re going, and what your experience in rehab is like. While leaving romance out of the picture, which can complicate things, cultivate relationships with these people who will be able to support you during rehab and for years to come.

Can I Work On Repairing Relationships In Rehab?

In addition to the professional and peer relationships that you develop in rehab, you will also begin to forge a relationship with yourself. You will begin to learn more about your motivations for abusing substances, why you were susceptible to addiction, and how you can stay sober. This is essential to your recovery, and should be your main focus.

Although you are focusing on yourself, you may still be able to work on the relationships you damaged with your addiction. Consult your therapist to decide whether it is best for you to wait or to delve into that project while in rehab. If you both think you can handle getting to work on relationships, your therapist may want to set up family sessions. Together you can work toward regaining the trust of your loved ones and they can start to forgive you.

What If I Wait Until After Rehab To Fix Relationships?

If you and your therapist feel you need to focus solely on yourself during rehab, bring in your loved ones so that your therapist can explain the decision. They may feel hurt initially and wonder when it will be their turn. Your therapist can help them to understand the importance of devoting rehab time to your immediate needs.

Another option is for your loved ones to begin their own therapy sessions. The impacts of your addiction have probably hurt them, caused them to feel angry and used, or even traumatized them if abuse was involved. If your loved ones can begin to work with a therapist while you go through rehab, you will all be on the right track toward repairing your relationships together.

Read How To Avoid Substituting Your Addiction

Forgiveness, as the experts say, is a choice. If someone has wronged you, you cannot wait for forgiveness to appear. You must make a conscious decision to forgive. You also cannot wait for the person who wronged you to apologize. It may never happen. Forgiving someone is a personal choice and one that can give you many benefits. Researchers know that by actively forgiving, you can expect to experience less stress, better relationships, less depression, and even lower blood pressure and a lowered risk of substance abuse.

If the forgiveness you are considering means letting go of the harm and neglect you faced as a child because of a parent’s alcoholism, it will not be easy. Whether your alcoholic parent physically abused you, or simply was never there for you emotionally, you suffered greatly as a result. Forgiveness may be something you have considered, but are struggling to get through. With some understanding, compassion, and a suspension of resentment, you can forgive and move on with your life.

How To Forgive Your Alcoholic ParentThe Harm Caused By An Alcoholic Parent

The reason forgiving your mother or father is so difficult is that they caused so much damage in your life. When the children of alcoholics become adults they often experience their own struggles with substance abuse. You are also vulnerable to depression, you may have low self-esteem, and you probably struggle to maintain healthy relationships. If you were physically abused by your alcoholic parent, the repercussions may be more extreme.

Can You Learn To Understand An Alcoholic?

If you have managed to avoid having a substance abuse problem yourself, you may have a hard time understanding your alcoholic parent. However, your path to forgiveness may begin with compassion and understanding. Read up on the disease of alcoholism and try to learn why certain people are vulnerable to it and the impact it has. You may even want to talk to your mother or father about it. If he or she is willing to open up, you can learn just what the struggle has been like. Maybe your parent experienced abuse as a child. If you can understand the motivation behind your parent’s drinking, you may find the compassion to forgive.

Can You Let Go Of Resentments?

One of the biggest roadblocks to forgiveness is resentment. This ugly specter lives with you day in and day out. The more you think about how your alcoholic parent impacted your life in a negative way, the bigger this resentment becomes. It is a toxic feeling and will hinder you in everything you do. Even if you cannot yet forgive your parent, learn to let go of the resentment so that you can better function.

Remember The Good Times

Few alcoholic parents are so terrible that they never cared for their children at all. As you try to let go of resentment and attempt to cultivate compassion, think back to your childhood and try to remember the happy moments. Make a list of all the memories of a happy and caring parent. Remembering these moments and the feelings that accompanied them will help you to journey closer toward forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a choice, and it is a healthy one. Your life will only get better when you are able to forgive your parent. You will be able to rebuild a relationship and you will be able to let go of resentment. You will feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Find Out How Recovering Alcoholics Respond To Baclofen

If you have suffered because of a loved one’s addiction, forgiveness may be difficult for you to give to that person. Many addicts in recovery apologize to those they have wronged. They do not expect or require forgiveness, but if you can find it in your heart to give it, forgiveness can be good for everyone. At a very minimum, forgiveness will allow you to reestablish a relationship. If you can’t forgive your loved one, you can no longer have a real relationship. Consider the benefits and then work toward real forgiveness.

What Does It Mean To Forgive An Addict?

How Can You Forgive A Recovering Addict?Before giving this gift of forgiveness, both to yourself and to the recovering addict, make sure you understand what it means. Forgiveness is a conscious decision. You must decide to give it and then live with it. Do not do it until you are ready.

What forgiveness does not mean is forgetting what your loved one did to you. It does not mean that you are letting him off the hook or that there are no consequences because of his actions. It does not mean that you have to stop being angry. Forgiveness does not even mean that you have to reconcile with the person who hurt you.

How Can I Forgive?

Keep in mind that forgiveness is a journey. If you are just starting to think about forgiving a recovering addict, you may still be days, weeks, or months away from being ready to be in that state of mind. Take your time, but do think about forgiveness and what it would mean to you and your loved one. Make this process your own. Don’t wait for your loved one to apologize because it may never happen. Forgiveness is your choice.

Learn about addiction in an effort to get to the point at which you can forgive. Not being an addict yourself, it can be almost impossible to understand what your loved one went through. If you still struggle to find forgiveness in your heart, consider seeing a therapist or counselor.  A professional can help you work through all the painful and confusing emotions you are feeling.

How Can Forgiveness Help?

Forgiveness is something you should largely do for yourself, but it can also help your loved one. He has been carrying around shame and guilt to an extent that you may never realize. Whether he has vocalized this to you yet or not, he is feeling bad. Your forgiveness would probably mean the world to him and studies have found that being forgiven is a powerful tool to help addicts stay sober.

By forgiving your loved one, you also give yourself an important gift. Research shows that people who forgive others often are less likely to be depressed, have higher self-esteem, have more friends and better marriages, have lower blood pressure, have a stronger immune system, and are less likely to have heart disease. Not only is forgiveness good for your mental health, it also impacts your physical wellbeing. Holding a grudge has a powerful effect on your psyche and your physical body.

You owe it to yourself at the least to find the room in your heart for forgiveness. Once you do it you will find that a weight has been lifted. You will feel lighter and freer without the burden of holding on to negative feelings. Take your time, but do try to get to that place. You won’t regret it.

Read More On How to Support A Recovering Addict After Everything

Prescription painkillers are serious drugs that are effective and help many people, but they are also risky. These medications are opioids, which means that they produce a euphoric feeling in the user, or a high, and they are addictive. If someone you love has been prescribed a narcotic painkiller, be aware of the dangers and the possibility of abuse. Know how to read the signs that he is abusing the pills and be prepared to intervene before it is too late.

What Are Opioid Painkillers?

Opioid painkillers are controlled substances used to treat severe and chronic pain. An opioid is any drug that is derived from the compounds found in the opium poppy. Heroin, the highly addictive street drug, is an opioid. Prescription opioid painkillers include oxycodone, hydrocodone, morphine and hydromorphone. They are sold under various brand names. These drugs block pain signals, but they also cause a pleasant feeling, and if abused, create changes in the brain that often lead to dependence.

What Are The Signs Of Opioid Abuse?

Is Your Loved One Abusing Pain PillsIt is important to understand that there is a difference between abuse and addiction. Your loved one may be abusing painkillers if he is using them to get high or if he is taking more than he was directed by his doctor to take. Abuse is not addiction, but it can easily lead to that state. Being aware of the signs of abuse is important so that you can help him before he becomes addicted. If he is abusing his medications, chances are he will try to hide it from you. Here are some signs to watch for:

  • Look for signs that your loved one is high on opioids. If he is taking them as directed he may experience a little bit of a high, but if he is abusing his pills the symptoms will be greater. Someone who is high on opioids will become drowsy and have slowed breathing and movements. He may also become anxious, have mood swings or become apathetic or depressed.
  • Opioid abuse causes a lack of energy. If your loved one seems tired all the time, especially throughout the day, and skips out on activities he normally enjoys, he may be abusing his medications.
  • Opioids also cause people to lose focus. Look for signs that your loved one’s attention span is changing. Maybe he can’t focus on his favorite television show. Maybe he is having problems at work because he loses focus and drifts.
  • Look for physical signs. Opioids cause certain physical changes that you can watch for. Look for a lot of itching, flushing in the neck or face, extremely constricted pupils, a runny nose, a lot of yawning, nausea and vomiting and flu-like achiness.
  • Watch for secretive behaviors. If your loved one is abusing his medications, he likely knows he is doing something wrong, and he will probably try to hide the behavior from you. Be aware of any behaviors that seem unusual or that indicate he may be hiding something from you.
  • Be aware of mood swings or personality changes. Any kind of drug abuse can cause behavioral and personality changes. If he is acting strangely and you have no other explanation for his mood swings, drug abuse may be the culprit.

If your loved one has been prescribed opioids for pain, there is no reason to assume he will begin abusing them. However, many people have fallen into that trap without meaning to do so. Be aware of the signs of abuse and pay attention. You could be saving his life by intervening.

Read About Teens Abusing Painkillers

Homelessness is a socioeconomic condition that directly affects well over a million Americans in any given year. For a number of reasons, homeless people are significantly more likely than the rest of the population to develop serious problems with substance abuse or addiction. In a study published in September 2013 in the journal Addiction, researchers from the RAND Corporation examined the types of social connections that help define the ways in which homeless teenagers and young adults use or abuse drugs or alcohol.

Homelessness Statistics

 How Social Connections Influence Drug And Alcohol Use In Homeless Youth

No one really knows how many people in America are homeless at any particular point in time. However, according to recent figures compiled by the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), on a representative day in 2010, at least 400,000 individuals in the U.S. didn’t have a fixed home address and either lived on the streets or in some sort of shelter or temporary housing. In a 12-month period that overlapped parts of both 2009 and 2010, more than 1.5 million people qualified as homeless. Some homeless people only lack permanent housing for relatively short amounts of time; however, on a typical day, more than 100,000 Americans lack permanent housing on a long-term basis.

Who Makes Up For Most Of The Homelessness In America?

In the U.S., men and boys experience homelessness almost twice as often as girls and women. Almost 22 percent of all homeless Americans are children or teenagers below the age of 18. Young adults between the ages of 18 and 30 make up another 23.5 percent of the U.S. homeless population. However, adults between the ages of 31 and 50 have the highest overall rate of homelessness. In descending order, the three American ethnic groups most likely to experience homelessness are non-Hispanic whites, African-Americans and Hispanic whites.

Homelessness And Substance Abuse

Current estimates indicate that as many as 50 percent of all long-term homeless Americans are affected by serious problems with substance abuse or substance addiction. When rates for drug- or alcohol-related issues in time periods before or after homelessness are taken into account, this figure rises to more than 80 percent. In many cases, problems with substance abuse or addiction appear before homelessness occurs and contribute to the changing life circumstances that cause an affected individual to lose his or her attachments to a permanent home. However, in other cases, the difficulties of homelessness contribute to the onset of excessive, dysfunctional drug or alcohol consumption. Mental illness is also a frequent contributor to the declining life circumstances of homeless people.

Social Connections Important Regarding Drug Use

In the study published in Addiction, the RAND Corporation researchers sought to identify the people who are most likely to participate in drug or alcohol use with homeless teenagers and young adults. They conducted their work with the help of 419 homeless people between the ages of 13 and 24 from the greater Los Angeles area. Each of these individuals was asked to name 20 people whom they interacted with socially. In addition, the participants were asked to detail their 20 social contacts’ relevant background information and level of involvement with drug or alcohol use.

After examining their data, the researchers concluded that, in descending order, homeless youths are most likely to engage in alcohol use with their intimate sexual partners and people in their social circles who use drugs, engage in dangerous sexual practices, act as opinion formers, provide some sort of physical or emotional support, and have popular social standing. They also concluded that, in descending order, homeless youths are most likely to engage in drug use with their intimate sexual partners and people in their social circles who drink alcohol, engage in dangerous sexual practices, act as opinion formers, provide physical or emotional support, and have popular social standing.

The Significance Of Homelessness And Substance Abuse

Based on their findings, the authors of the study concluded that homeless teenagers and young adults tend to share drug and alcohol use with peers who have more than one clear risk for substantial problems with health or well-being, as well as with peers who in some way dominate or determine the ways in which they view and interact with the world. The authors believe that public health officials and abuse/addiction specialists can use this information as the basis for improved efforts to reach homeless youths affected by substance use/abuse and reduce their chances of developing or continuing dangerous patterns of drug or alcohol intake.

Read About How Volunteering Can Aid Your Own Recovery

Denial is a classic hallmark of addiction. Addicts cause themselves harm, they damage relationships with people they love, they get into legal trouble and financial trouble as well, and yet many will claim not to have a problem with drugs or alcohol. This is called denial, and while it is not a part of every addict’s arsenal, it is a very common defense mechanism. Until the veil of this denial can be lifted, an addict is unlikely to get help. By recognizing the signs of denial you can learn to help your loved one come to the realization that he needs help.

Is It Denial Or An Outright Lie?

What Are The Ways To Recognize Addiction Denial In A Loved OneLying is a conscious act meant to deceive. Your loved one may lie to you all the time. Lying is another defense mechanism used by addicts. To hide just how bad the problem is, he may lie to you about any number of things. To be in denial, however, is different. If your loved one is in denial, he truly believes that he doesn’t have a problem. It is frustrating to deal with an addict in denial, but realize that he is not trying to hurt you. He simply can’t see the extent of his problem.

What Is Denial?

There are several different forms that denial can take. If you are dealing with someone who is in complete denial about his problem, he is totally oblivious to the harm that his drinking or drug use is causing. You may also be dealing with a case of partial denial. Addicts who only partially believe they have a problem may recognize that their drug use or drinking is a bad habit, but may deny the issues it is causing. Perhaps the most harmful type of denial occurs when the addict fully admits to having a problem, but denies needing any alcohol abuse help.

How Can You Recognize Denial?

Addicts are very good at behaving as if everything is fine. They strive to hide the damage that their addictions cause and present a normal face to the world. If you think your loved one is in deeper than he is letting on, look for signs that he is in denial of the severity of his problem. For instance, addicts in denial do a lot of rationalizing. He makes excuses for why he drinks or uses drugs. Maybe he says that he needs to drink after work to decompress.

Those in denial also tend to minimize their problems. Without even realizing that he is being untruthful, your loved one may tell you he had just two drinks at the bar, when he really had five. Avoidance is another denial strategy. Addicts sometimes withdraw from and avoid loved ones so they don’t have to have conversations about their behaviors. Also look out for blaming and bargaining. If your loved one blames external forces, even you, for his problem, he is in denial. He may bargain with you to let him have a few drinks if he promises not to drink the next day.

Addicts are good at denial. They deny their problem to others and to themselves. They get so good at it that denial becomes another unhealthy habit and a roadblock to getting help. If you think your loved one needs help, avoid falling into the trap of believing his denials. Trust your instincts and do your best to help him see what you see. If you fail to convince him, bring in other people who care about him and consider hosting an intervention. Addiction is a serious disease, you need to break through denial in order to get treatment and find success in recovery.

Read More About How You Can Help Someone With An Addiction

Establishing a healthy romantic relationship is not always easy, but dating a former drug addict or alcoholic can present its own unique challenges. If you have met someone and you feel a connection you would like to explore, but have just found out he is in recovery, you may be wondering if you should go forward. If you do continue the relationship, you may wonder how it will work and what you may be in for. Finding out that someone you like is a recovering addict does not need to be a roadblock, but you should be prepared to meet the challenge.

Do Recovering Addicts Need Extra Support?

What You Need To Know When Dating A Recovering AddictYes, a recovering addict does need support, more than you might expect. To fully understand what this person is going through, and has been through, you should read up on addiction. You should know that addiction is a chronic and lifelong illness. Even if he has been sober for years, he is still in recovery and he still feels the temptation to use again. This means that he needs support from the loved ones in his life. Support and sensitivity from you and from others is what keeps him strong and sober.

Can I Drink Around A Recovering Addict?

A relationship with a recovering addict carries with it some unique characteristics. You may not be able to drink around him, or even engage in other activities like going to parties where drinking or drug use is present. Whether or not you can drink in front of him depends on his individual needs, but it is something you need to consider. You need to be sensitive to his weaknesses and how your actions impact him.

Will A Recovering Addict Relapse?

As you learn more about addiction, you will learn that like other chronic illnesses it comes with the likelihood of relapse. Roughly half of all addicts in recovery will relapse at least once and use again. If you are considering dating a recovering addict, this is something to consider. Will you be able to cope if he does relapse? How will you be prepared to handle the situation? If you are completely unfamiliar with addiction and have no experience with addicts, you may want to attend a few support group meetings or see a drug counselor to learn what to expect and how to help during a relapse.

Can I Trust A Recovering Addict?

One of the biggest issues in relationships with addicts, romantic or otherwise, is trust. Loved ones who have stood by an addict have experienced great breaches of their trust. Whether you will be able to trust an addict in recovery is up to you. Some people will feel they can never trust a former addict, while others may be able to suspend their doubts. The decision is personal and entirely yours to make.

Dating someone in recovery is different from dating someone who has never been an addict. There are downsides and challenges, but there are also some unexpected bonuses. Addicts who have been through therapy and treatment may have a better understanding of how to relate to others, how to communicate and how to develop and maintain healthy relationships. While you may question your ability to trust and worry about relapses, you may just find yourself dating someone who can bring much more to the table. He may be more sensitive, communicative and aware of your needs than anyone else you have dated.

Read More About If You Are Enabling The Addict In Your Life?


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