What Happens When There’s Two Addicts In A Marriage?
The struggle of a spouse coping with an addicted partner is one that is often discussed, written about and addressed as an important element of addiction treatment. What we don’t hear about as often are the cases in which both partners in a marriage are battling addiction. For a spouse who has never had an addiction, watching her loved one struggle and trying to lend support and love is an extreme challenge. If both people are addicted, it magnifies the problem. How do you support each other when you are each battling your own addiction demons and trying to stay clean?
Should I Get Addiction Treatment With My Spouse?
The most important decision you both need to make is to each get help. How you do that and what resources you use to get help are less important than taking that first step. Once you have both agreed that you need the care of addiction professionals, you are ready to face the rest of your journey. The next question to be answered is whether you go it alone or try to go through rehab together.
The good news is that you have options. Addiction treatment has advanced tremendously over the last couple of decades. There are many more ways in which you can get care, and if you want to, you can do it together. One benefit of working together is that you both stand a better chance of being on the same page if you receive the same program of treatment from the same professionals. Different treatment programs adhere to different philosophies and when you both work with the same one, you will understand each other better. Working together will also give you the opportunity to address your relationship issues as well as your addictions.
One philosophy of addiction treatment says that you should be solely focused on yourself. If you work together on your treatment, you may fall into bad relationship habits and fail to devote yourself entirely to your own healing process. Discuss your options together and consider asking the opinions of addiction professionals as well. You can always change your plan if working together or apart does not go as you hoped it would.
What If My Spouse Won’t Commit To Treatment?
As long as you both are committed to getting treatment for your individual problems, your relationship stands a chance of surviving your addictions. What happens if one of you refuses treatment or won’t follow through with it? This situation can be incredibly difficult for both partners. If you are moving forward and your spouse is falling behind, you have a major problem. Staying together means that your spouse could drag you back into addiction. If you separate, it could mean that your spouse falls into an even deeper hole.
The ultimate decision as to how to handle a spouse who won’t join you on your journey to sobriety is personal. Only you can decide what is right for you and your relationship, but know that you likely won’t last long if one of you is abusing drugs or alcohol while the other is in recovery. It’s a volatile situation that is bound to blow up. If your spouse refuses to get help, do everything in your power to encourage him or her do so so. If you can’t, it may be time to move on. It will feel like a terrible abandonment, but you can only change yourself. Your transformation into a healthy and sober person may even be the push needed to get your spouse to follow suit.
You And Your Spouse Are Worth It – Give Us A Call Now To Begin The Healing!